Korean "Skinship"... Real or Fake?

This week, I'm going to talk about something every student about to study abroad in Korea has read about that may or may not freak them out, and that topic is skinship.

The word skinship is a play on words that is a rough combination of skin and kinship. The idea behind this word is using touch (haptics) to express the depth of your relationship with someone. This is done in every culture, but in Korea, it's a bit different.

Here, skinship between a man and a women who are not in a serious relationship is highly frowned upon, but Koreans often want to show their love and affection to the friends, anyway. Skinship here is almost always between the same sex. Now, many other culture find this kind of interaction to be uncomfortable or homosexual, but that is just not the case here.

Here is a list of things that happen during skinship (mostly men, believe it or not!):

• Holding hands
• Hugging (from behind)
• Laying/Sitting in eachothers' laps
• Kissing on the cheek/forehead
• Touching of the shoulder/back/thigh and leaving your hand there
• Laying down together/cuddling

These are a few of the more extreme skinship examples. But why is it like that here???

My personal theory is that the idea of homosexuality "doesn't exist" here. It is something that Koreans often will deny exists here in this almost completely homogeneous society. Thus, when someone wants to hold your hand or kiss your cheek, it is completely for friendship, and not sexual in any way. It only strengthens the bond of friendship showing how loving and comfortable you two are together. Now, this is obviously not true. Korea has homosexuals just like any other country, but the intentions of skinship are almost completely all for friendship (and that's the truth);

What do I think about skinship? Well it was uncomfortable at first, but I (and my other international student friends) have become used to it. The sense of friendship is a lot stronger here than in the states, quicker. So yes, I do partake in skinship here in Korea, and everyone prety much is, unless they are uncomfortable with their sexuality or highly conservative.

The [Not so Irritating!] AWESOME Side of Korea

So last week, I wrote about the irritating things about Korea. This is  because I wanted everyone to know every country, Korea included, has it's flaws. Really. But this week, I've decided it was time to post about the awesome things in this little country I call my second home.

Like last post, I'll talk about the biggest, most impactful thing first, and that is family culture.

What does that mean? Well, after being abroad, I've realized how independent I am, and how the culture I grew up with is focused on taking care of yourself. I think there are many pros and cons to this, but that independent lifestyle is simply not the case here.

Here, I am incorporated into a myriad of family settings. I am in my academic major family, my suite mate family, my club family, and my friend family. What does this entail? While I am still considered  foreigner, I am treated more as a brother than a friend. I am expected to do many things, including contribute to group moral, I am also expected to let others do things more me (something that is really hard for me, believe it or not!). Either way, I feel so much more incorporated here. Don't get me wrong, this has lead to many problems. I conform well to Korean culture, and sometimes my Korean friends take it too far. I need to gently remind them I am not Korea, and am trying my best to respect this amazing culture.

Besides the family culture aspect, there are SO many more things I love about this country!!! Here are a few:

• "Service", which basically means free stuff. A free soda with your delivery purchase, a pack of tissues taped to your cereal... it's all fair game!
• Delivery 24/7 for almost EVERYTHING..... America, catch on, please. I'm sick of pizza!
• Banchan, or Korean side dishes that are plentiful, refillable, and FREE! Best part of the meal!
• All around, Korean food is pretty delicious, and healthy.
• Free clinics at your school, including basic services for FREE
• All your seniors buy you things hehe
• Upbeat music everywhere you go
• Cheap alcohol and activities like karaoke and bowling everywhere
• Drinking culture. Google it.

And lastly.... Korean people. I am meeting more and more everyday that show me life is pretty awesome.

The Irritating Side of Korea

This week, I thought it would be cool if I were to show you the more irritating side of Korea before I talk about all the amazing and awesome things here. Really, they both exist.

First, and probably the most serious, is that Korea is an almost completely homogeneous society. It has to be one of the craziest things when you walk out in public and only see Koreans. Seeing a foreigner is a treat! Now, this isn't iritating in any way (I actually really enjoy it), but it leads you to the understanding that you will never be able to conform to this society. Ever. You will always be a foreigner, and although your friends may consider you a Korean, it is never beyond a friend's point of view.

Some people don't mind this, but others who really want to adapt to life here, just can't accept it. I'm indifferent, but it is pretty frustrating to learn another language and still be spoken to in very poor English everywhere I go.

The next few things are just a quick flash of things that drive me crazy, so bear with me...

Urinals spitting water at your feet before you pee,
A.C. being turned off in my dorms when fall comes (it's still hot in the day!),
Only people of the same age can be friends (everyone else is younger/older brother/sister),
Spiders (their everywhere),
Construction.... EVERYWHERE,
Staring (only sometimes I get irritated),
Not letting foreign customers eat the spiciest foods (some of us can handle it!),
Lack of variety in cuisine (Korean is my favorite, but come on...),
Hierarchy culture (google it),
Cheese here sucks.

That's it for this week...

Also understand this: I love Korea SOOOOO much. I wouldn't trade this country for anything! And next week, I'll talk about everything and anything amazing about this country.

'Till next time,

Kalani Stephens

Introduction!

So as many people know, I am currently studying abroad in South Korea on an international exchange program.

Exciting? Maybe a little, but after studying abroad in China (for free!) and traveling all over Asia during the summer, the excitement of being abroad is turning into a normality. I am here for a total of 10 months, which was added on to my original 8 moths abroad when I left for China in January. What a trip, right?

I figure my first blog post can be an introduction. So this it it:

My name is Kalani Stephens,  文海生， or 신바다 depending what language you speak and where I am. I currently study at Soonchunhyang University in Asan, South Korea. I major in Internation Economics and Business, and also study Chinese and Korean. Originally from Hawaii, I feel like the world is my playground. I love to travel, and I'll be here in Asia for awhile. Although life for me seems exciting (and it is), I live a pretty average life. I wake up in the morning and brush my teeth and dread doing laundry, just like you. See? Normal.

But I have learned that the world is different and the same in so many ways and I want nothing more than to continue to explore it further.

Feel free to ask question about what you want to see or hear about from Korea or Asia (I travel through here a lot nowadays).